This Is Sparta

No...I'm not back.  And I'm not losing my mind either.

I haven't fallen down the rabbit hole, or taken the red pill, or spanned the void.

I'm just sitting here.  At my desk.  Trying to find my voice again.

I was thinking not too long ago that I haven't learned anything new in quite awhile.  Haven't been trying.  I've been complacent, and common place, and combobulated.  Fuck you if you think that last one can't be a word.  If you can be discombobulated you should be able to be combobulated.  If that's not the case someone needs to get on that right away.

I've been busy being engaged yet not planning a wedding (or even engagement party).  We're five months in nearly and we're really no further along then we were five months ago.  We're coming dangerously close to entering that grey zone where we're still engaged but not really planning on getting married.  We were aiming for a very long engagement, but I didn't calculate that Aly is always late on everything.  So a long engagement may take even longer than I thought.  We're in no rush though.

I've shed a few people.  Some people who I really cared about are just no longer around, they pop up now and then and those who need to be dealt with are dealt with and those who are still worth being around are welcomed back with open arms.  It's still not a reality I'm entirely comfortable with.

I've lost nearly 130 lbs in the past 8 months.  I feel really good and look halfway decent, which is a plus.  I've been doing quite a bit of reading and just recently have become hooked on Warren Ellis's Transmetropolitan.  I'm just short of halfway through and already dread the day I'll be done with it and have no more to read.  Then of course I'll have to find something else.

This is what got me started today.  I've found a fast friend in Transmetropolitan's protagonist Spider Jerusalem.  I love just about everything about the character and I quickly realized it's because he reminds me of my characters.  The bits and pieces of me that have been absorbed, digested, shat out, and forgotten about in the past year or so.  And I've grown so attached to him so quickly because I miss them.

I don't want to bring them back, but I want to remember them.  I want to talk about them.  I want to write about them.  And so I will hopefully.  Right here.

Remember that bit about me not being back?

I lied.